October marks the midpoint in the semester and like all Octobers life has become increasingly busy. Gone are the dog days of summer and replaced are the long days of studying, practices and school. Instead of focusing on Halloween costumes or homecoming plans, I have spent my October touring colleges, applying for scholarships, going to interviews and auditions. Last weekend I had the opportunity to visit the University of Alabama.
This weekend my parents and I are going to visit Southern Methodist University (SMU) in Dallas. In three weeks I am going to Florida State University. As exciting as this October has been, it’s been extremely stressful as well. I have not one or two separate schedules to keep up with, but four. I have my school schedule, my internship schedule, my Nutcracker rehearsal schedule and my college visits/admissions schedule.
At least I haven’t been bored this month. Boredom is a luxury that I can no longer afford. Recent personal discoveries have proven that time cannot be managed when one has none to manage. Most seniors are facing the same stressful issues right now. The semester’s workload has been heavy and there is no end in sight. October is the final stretch for most college applications as early deadlines are Nov. 1.
Some are dotting the ‘i’s and crossing the ‘t’s on their applications and others are dreadfully behind. I am somewhere in the middle. Like the tell tale heart I am constantly aware of the ticking of a clock counting down to my unknown fate. To the rest of the world it is silent but it lays heavy on my conscious daily. My brain is like a computer with too many tabs opens causing the system to operate at a slower level. All of these ‘tabs’ contain wonderful things but sometimes I want to just shut down the computer for a little while in hopes that it will work better when I turn it back on.
Everyone goes through seasons like this. Instead of writing, “I think, therefore I am,” Descartes should have written ‘I worry, therefore I am.’ Humans are anxious by nature. We all worry. These are just my current causes of anxiety. When Rene Descartes wrote this statement he was trying to prove consciousness on philosophical bias.
Nothing proves that humans are in control of their own thoughts and actions better than the college application process. One day I will not worry about this madness instead I will be saddened that it these busy and exciting days are gone. After all, this semester is the climax of my education. It’s a sink or swim situation and I’m determined to rise above the current and swim.